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Episode 28/Transcript

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Moby or Not Moby

We open on the Pequod. Ishmael is scrubbing the deck when suddenly the lid of the barrel beside him pops open, and Yakko peers out.
Yakko So, this is the Love Boat!
Dot and Wakko pop their heads out. The siblings jump out of the barrel, pull out deck chairs and start to recline on them.
Yakko You must be Doc.
Ishmael Call me Ishmael.
Yakko Call me Ishtar.
Wakko Call me irresponsible.
Dot Call me any time, but not collect, okay, big fella?
The Warners jump off the deck chairs to look around the ship. Ishmael shrugs. The siblings approach Queequeg, who is sitting on the deck.
Yakko Hi, we're stowaways. Are you Gopher?
Queequeg No. I Queequeg.
The Warners start sniffing at a possible smell.
Yakko Sorry to hear that. Next time, don't eat so many prunes.
Wakko spots a flag with a picture of a whale on it.
Wakko Hey, look! They got miniature golf on board!
Yakko and Dot get out miniature golf clubs, while Wakko pulls off his tail and uses it as one. They punt the golf balls up to the crow's nest.
Warners Fore!
The golf balls bounce off the crow's nest and hit the door of the captain's quarters. Captain Ahab steps out.
Ahab Who dares disturb my brooding? (He grabs Starbuck from off screen) Starbuck! Have you seen Moby Dick?
Starbuck Ach, negative, Captain. We must quit this mad quest.
Ahab throws Starbuck to the ground.
Ahab Ye craven bilge-rat! We'll search for Moby Dick until-! (He notices YAKKO standing right next to him.) What?
Yakko Captain Stooping, do you mind if I steered the boat so we can go water-skiing?
Ahab (distractedly) What? Y-yes, go away. (To Starbuck) We'll search for Moby Dick until the seas dry up and all the fish flop around in their underwear because all the water's gone. We'll search until- huh?
Ahab and Starbuck are sent tumbling as the ship tilts sharply to the side.
Ahab What in the name of Neptune's pantry?
He sees Yakko merrily steering the ship wildly. He storms up to the boy and glares down at him.
Ahab Give me that wheel at once!
Yakko You're the captain.
He gives Ahab the wheel, still spinning, and sends him spinning and flying into a pile of barrels, which go flying like ten-pins. The Warners help him up.
Ahab Who are you?
Yakko We're the Warner Brothers, Captain Stooping.
Dot And the Warner Sister. Say, would you see if there's anything stuck in my teeth? (She beams at Ahab)
Wakko You know, if you shaved your beard, you'd look just like Ernest Borgnine.
Ahab Hark you well, that I am Captain Ahab, cursed by vengeance to roam the seas until I find Moby Dick! You stowaways earn your keep aboard the Pequod! Now find me the white whale!
Dot Okay!
The Warners prance to the edge of the ship.
Yakko Look! A white whale!
Ahab rushes to the side with them.
Ahab Where? Where??
Warners Monkeys always loo-ook! Monkeys always loo-ook!
Ahab Stop this tomfoolery and find me that whale!
Yakko Thar she blows!
Ahab Where?? Where?!
The blowing is just Dot on the trumpet.
Dot (as Louis Armstrong) That's high C on the high seas! Yeah!
Yakko So, whaddaya say, Captain? Let's look for somethin' else, now.
Dot Yeah, who cares about a white whale? Let's dress up like ghosts and scare the crew!
Ahab Don't ye understand? All I live for is to catch Moby Dick and destroy him for his oil, conquer him for his blubber, stomp on his big whale head and make perfume for his brain!
Yakko Captain, you've gotta go on shore leave more often.
The Warners now don sailor suits and start singing to the tune of What Do You Do with the Drunken Sailor
Warners Captain Ahab, you're a dummy/ Killing whales is really crummy/ Get a clue and don't be scummy/ Early in the morning
Ahab grabs the accordion from the siblings

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