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The Monkey Song (Song)

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The Monkey Song is the second segment of the pilot episode of Animaniacs. The song was written by Norman Span and Irving Burgie and popularized by Harry Belafonte on his 1961 album Jump Up Calypso, where it was simply called "Monkey". The lyrics were adapted by writer and producer Tom Ruegger for this cartoon. The original lyrics was about an actual monkey driving the narrator crazy everywhere he went. In this version, the narrator is Dr. Scratchansniff and the "monkeys" are actually the Warners. The cartoon also contains cameos by practically the entire cast of the show including, in order of appearance, the Goodfeathers (with Squit on the flute getting constantly clobbered by Pesto as usual), Ralph the Guard, the Hip Hippos (with Flavio on the conga drum and Marita on the steel drum), Hello Nurse, Skippy Squirrel, the Mime, Slappy Squirrel, Pinky and the Brain, Mindy and Buttons. This song serves as the second track for the album Variety Pack.

Lyrics

Dr. Scratchansniff:
One Monday mornin', I got up late,
And there were these monkeys outside the gate.
The guard tried to stop them but he had no luck.
The monkeys got free and they run amok.
I don't know what to say. The monkeys won't do.
Yakko, Wakko, and Dot:
Don't know what to say, the monkeys won't do.
Dr. Scratchasniff:
I don't know what to say. The monkeys won't do.
Yakko, Wakko and Dot:
Don't know what to say. The monkeys won't do.
Dr. Scratchasniff:
My office was run by the studio nurse.
I came downstairs und what could be worse?
The monkeys was doing a crazy dance.
They put buggies in my underpants.
I don't know what to say. The monkeys won't do.
Yakko, Wakko and Dot:
Don't know what to say. The monkeys won't do.
Dr. Scratchasniff:
Monkeys dance, then I dance, too.
Yakko, Wakko and Dot:
Don't know what to say. The monkeys won't do.
Dr. Scratchasniff:
I ran outside to get a stick,
But I'm telling you, friends, those monkeys was quick,
'Cause when I returned, much to my disgrace,
Those monkeys had the nurse in a mad embrace!
Hello Nurse:
I don't know what to say. The monkeys won't do.
Yakko:
For a nickel, I'll give you a clue.
Dot:
I didn't know your eyes were blue.
Dr. Scratchasniff:
I don't know what to say. The monkeys won't do.
Marita Hippo:
Yessir, woo!!
Flavio Hippo:
Aw, play dat thing!
[instrumental break]
Dr. Scratchasniff:
I went to me bath for a shower and shave.
Them monkeys gonna put me into my grave!
The entire bathroom was laid to waste
And they shaved my head with minty toothpaste!
I don't know what to say. The monkeys won't do.
Yakko, Wakko and Dot:
Don't know what to say. The monkeys won't do.
Dr. Scratchasniff:
They's crazy nutso! I'm tellin' you!
Yakko, Wakko and Dot:
Don't know what to say. The monkeys won't do.
Dr. Scratchasniff:
Well, by this time, I was feelin' dread.
They was usin' a shoebrush to shine me head.
I asked them to leave, but they stayed around.
They pulled the chain, and, WHEE, I went down!
I don't know what to say. The monkeys won't do.
Yakko, Wakko and Dot:
Don't know what to say. The monkeys won't do.
Dr. Scratchasniff:
Call my lawyer! I'm ready to sue!
Yakko, Wakko and Dot:
Don't know what to say. The monkeys won't do.
[Dr. Scratchansniff screams]
Marita Hippo:
Yessir, brother!
[instrumental break and chase sequence]
Dr. Scratchasniff:
Well, me patience ran out and I'm telling you sure,
Tomorrow, I show those monkeys the door!
And if they don't leave, I'm inviting you
To my house for dumplings and monkey stew!
I don't know what to say. The monkeys won't do.
Yakko, Wakko and Dot:
Don't know what to say. The monkeys won't do.
Dr. Scratchasniff:
Now I'm in the stew. Aw, pooh.
Yakko, Wakko and Dot:
Don't know what to say. The monkeys won't do.
Dr. Scratchasniff:
Watch out for monkeys! I'm telling you!
The Hip Hippos:
Don't know what to say. The monkeys won't do.
Yakko, Wakko and Dot:
We're not monkeys, we're just cuckoo!
All:
Don't know what to say! The Warners won't do!

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