Fandom

Animaniacs Wiki

Variety Speak (song)

660pages on
this wiki
Add New Page
Comments0 Share

Variety Speak is a song from Episode 71 of Animaniacs. The song discusses the lingo used in Variety Magazine. The music and lyrics were written by Randy Rogel. The song is the first track on the album Variety Pack.

A version of the song with different lyrics was also used in "Hooray for North Hollywood".

Lyrics

Yakko:
In Hollywood, they have a different language that they speak.
It's spoken by those folks who went to school for just one week.
Dot:
It's found inside Variety, a magazine they use.
Yakko and Dot:
And no one understands it when they read the movie news.
Dot:
Like "Hix makes pix but the flick needs fix"...
Yakko:
Means someone made a movie that bombed.
Dot:
"The veeps in charge are now at large"...
Yakko:
Means everyone involved is gone.
Dot:
"The plot conflix, no beautiful chix"...
Yakko:
So it's comin' out on video soon.
Dot:
"They're takin' their licks 'cause the critics say nix"...
Yakko:
And the editors are gonna try to fix it in the mix.
Dot:
"Well, the stock sees green" on page 13...
Yakko:
Means Disney's up a nickel a share.
Dot:
"Stallone cuts deal for a major reel"...
Yakko:
Means Rocky Number VI, so beware.
Dot:
If you want the poop...
Yakko:
Or ya need the scoop...
Yakko and Dot:
On Hollywood Town this week,
You're gonna have to learn to talk that Variety speak!
Chorus Girls:
Bop-a-doo-bop, a-bop-a-doo-bah,
Bop-a-doo-bop, a-bop-a-doo-bah!
Dot:
"A boffo smash makes Warner cash"...
Yakko:
Means there's gonna be a sequel next year.
Dot:
But "Paramount hurts and they're losing their shirts"...
Yakko:
Means Schwarzenegger's doing King Lear.
Dot:
"Oliver Stone does next Home Alone"...
Yakko:
Means he's gettin' paid an arm and a leg.
The budget goes "crunch"...
Dot:
But his name "packs punch"...
Yakko:
So they called up the accountants and they're gonna "do lunch".
Dot:
Well, "the ratings smile on the O.J. trial"...
Yakko:
Means a movie of the week to premiere.
Dot:
"Universal cuts deal with Mr. Spiel"...
Yakko:
To do a hundred thousand movies a year!
Yakko and Dot:
Ya gotta play it smart
If ya wanna be part
Of the crowd that's hip and chic!
The Warners:
You're gonna have to learn to talk that Variety speak!
Chorus Girls:
Bop-a-doo-bop, a-bop-a-doo-bah,
Bop-a-doo-bop, a-bop-a-doo-bah!
Yakko and Dot:
Normal talk makes producers walk...
You might as well speak Greek.
You're gonna have to learn...
Wakko:
Or the meeting will adjourn...
The Warners:
Unless, my friend, you learn that Variety speak!
Chorus Girls:
Bop-a-doo-bop, a-bop-a-doo-bah,
Bop-a-doo-bop, a-bop-a-doo-bah!
The Warners:
Bop, doo, bop, doo, bop, doo bah, dah!

Album Version

Yakko:
In Hollywood, they have a different language that they speak.
It's used by all the folks who went to school for just one week.
It's found inside Variety, a magazine they use.
Yakko and Dot:
And no one understands it when they read the movie news.
Yakko:
Like "Hix makes pix but the flick needs fix"...
Means someone made a movie that bombed.
"The veeps in charge are now at large"...
Means everyone involved is gone.
"The plot conflix, no beautiful chix"...
So it's comin' out on video soon.
"They're takin' their licks 'cause the critics say nix"...
And the editors are gonna try to save it in the mix.
Dot:
"Well, the stock sees green" on page 13...
Yakko:
Means Disney's up a nickel a share.
Dot:
"Stallone cuts deal for a major reel"...
Yakko:
Means Rocky Number VI, so beware.
If ya want the poop...
Dot:
Or you need the scoop...
Yakko and Dot:
On Hollywood Town this week,
You're gonna have to learn to talk that Variety speak!
Chorus Girls:
Bop-a-doo-bop, a-bop-a-doo-bah,
Bop-a-doo-bop, a-bop-a-doo-bah!
Yakko:
"Boffo smash makes Warner cash"...
Means there's gonna be a sequel next year.
"Paramount hurts and they're losing their shirts"...
Means Schwarzenegger's doing King Lear.
"Oliver Stone does next Home Alone"...
Means he's gettin' paid an arm and a leg.
The budget goes "crunch", but his name "packs punch"...
So they called up the accountants and they're gonna "do lunch".
Dot:
Well, "the ratings smile on the O.J. trial"...
Yakko:
Means a movie of the week to premiere.
Dot:
"Universal cuts deal with Mr. Spiel"...
Yakko:
To do a hundred thousand movies a year!
Ya gotta play it smart
If ya wanna be part
Of the crowd that's hip and chic!
The Warners:
You're gonna have to learn to talk that Variety speak!
Chorus Girls:
Bop-a-doo-bop, a-bop-a-doo-bah,
Bop-a-doo-bop, a-bop-a-doo-bah!
Yakko:
Normal talk makes producers walk...
You might as well speak Greek.
You're gonna have to learn...
Wakko:
Or the meeting will adjourn...
The Warners:
Unless, my friend, you learn that Variety speak!
Chorus Girls:
Bop-a-doo-bop, a-bop-a-doo-bah,
Bop-a-doo-bop, a-bop-a-doo-bah!
The Warners:
Bop, doo, bop, doo, bop, doo bah, dah!


Hooray for North Hollywood Version

Wakko:
In Hollywood, they have a certain way they like to talk.
It's used by all those folks who can't chew gum and also walk.
Yakko:
It's found inside Variety, a movie magazine.
Wakko:
And everyone who reads it wonders what the headlines mean.
Yakko:
Like "Mitch makes a pitch, and he's gonna get rich"...
Wakko:
Means someone's got a movie that sold.
Yakko:
"Brando's mad, says the screenplay's bad"...
Wakko:
Means someone else was offered the role.
Yakko:
"It's called Fargo Two with a story that's new"...
Wakko:
Means they're gonna shoot it all in LA.
Yakko:
"The budget got maxed, so someone got faxed"...
Wakko:
Everybody's on the carpet, so the writer got the ax.
Dot:
Well, "Merchandise scores in the theme park stores"...
Yakko:
And Disney is the king of the hill.
Dot:
"Michael Ovitz in talks with 20th Fox"...
Yakko:
Means he wants another ninety-three mil.
Wakko:
If you want the poop...
Dot:
Or ya need the scoop...
Yakko:
On Hollywood Town this week...
The Warners:
You're gonna have to learn to talk that Variety speak!
Chorus Girls:
Bop-a-doo-bop, a-bop-a-doo-bah,
Bop-a-doo-bop, a-bop-a-doo-bah!
Yakko:
"Studio bomb, gets Oscar nom"...
Dot:
Means all the actors gotta be Brits.
Wakko:
"Bronfman's play for MCA"...
Yakko:
Means the Japanese are calling it quits.
Wakko:
"No scripts are new" means Jurassic Park 2...
Dot:
And a trillion little dinosaur toys.
Yakko:
"The cash flows nice, they're releasin' it twice"
Since it isn't out on video, they're jacking up the price.
Dot:
Well, "Studio Czar wants unknown star"...
Yakko:
Means they couldn't get Robert Duvall.
Wakko:
But "They're in trouble again, doing Mice and Men"...
Dot:
With Martin Short and Steven Seagal.
The Warners:
You gotta stay alive
And if you wanna survive
In Hollywood Town this week,
You're gonna have to learn to talk that Variety speak!
Chorus Girls:
Bop-a-doo-bop, a-bop-a-doo-bah,
Bop-a-doo-bop, a-bop-a-doo-bah!
Yakko:
Normal talk makes producers walk...
Dot:
You might as well speak Greek.
Yakko:
You're gonna have to learn...
Wakko:
Or the meeting will adjourn...
The Warners:
Unless, my friend, you learn that Variety speak!
All:
Bop-a-doo-bop, a-bop-a-doo-bah,
Bop-a-doo-bop, a-bop-a-doo-bah!
Bop, doo, bop, doo, bop, doo bah, dah!

Ad blocker interference detected!


Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.